-- Download All's Not Right: Splitting The Conservative Vote as PDF --

People who are willing to listen to me rant and foam at the mouth about politics (not as large a population as you might think) have heard two consistent messages from me over the last few elections. One: Canada needs more than one right-wing party. The Conservatives are currently the only game running for right-leaning Canadians, while the vote on the left is split between a number of parties. Two: Canada needs another Trudeau-esque Prime Minister. We need another rabble-rouser who is less concerned with placating the United States and maintaining the status quo than actually doing what is best for Canada.

On November 25, 2010, I thought Danny Williams was going to be the answer to my profanity-laced wishes. As he announced he was retiring as Newfoundland’s Premiere, I started to fantasize about what his future in politics might look like.

As the days passed and no hint of scandal attached itself to ol’ Danny Boy, I grew more and more excited. My dream is a simple enough one and Danny Williams has the potential to be the man of my dreams. (Words I honestly never thought I would say, but there you have it.)

Do you remember when we had a national Progressive Conservative Party? I do. And while I was no fan of Mulroney’s… well, the way the CPC have been running things, I’m finding I miss the guy. I miss a ham-fisted Prime Minister that counted our nation’s pennies like an old woman buying cat food at the grocery store. I miss having a PM that couldn’t grasp the finer points of Native relations, but at least understood that Canadians expect their government to provide certain things, like education and health care. And, well, I miss the Refooooooooooormers being a national joke.

If the latest election results have shown us anything, it’s that roughly twenty-five percent of the country’s population wanted a conservative government of some sort. But twenty-five percent of Canadians are not Reformers. They’re mostly progressive conservatives, craving fiscal conservation and liberal social policies.

This is where Danny Williams ought to be riding in on his white horse, leading a rebranded national PC Party (maybe even with a snazzy, royal purple colour scheme). He has a proven track record of fighting for what’s best for his province, no matter how unpopular it may have made him at times. He has a proven track record of turning his province’s finances around. He’s popular and populist, bull-headed and colourful. He could be exactly the sort of Prime Minister who would stiffen our national backbone, remind us once again what we have to be proud of and maybe even amusingly embarrass us on an international scale. He would be a fantastic antidote to the furtive dealings of a federal government run by The Man With The Homolka Eyes.

It’s true that Williams doesn’t have a fantastic environmental record, but with Stache Layton heading up the opposition again, the worst environmental excesses could easily be curtailed. Williams’ tendency toward freezing wages and neglecting the arts would be mitigated, too. We could once again have a Parliament to be proud of.

And maybe, just maybe, we’d see some fuddle-duddling progress around here.

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Anna Davey

Known for her distinctive colouring and reclusive habits, the wild A. Davey is a species well-adapted to urban environments. A prolific breeder, this species subsists mainly on pho, gin and the internet.

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