America the Not-So-Beautiful: God Shat His Grace On Thee


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Close your eyes, and conjure up a mental image of the stereotype of the Ugly American.

Loud.

Large.

Willfully ignorant of customs and countries that lie beyond the border of the US -of- A.

Rabidly proselytizing the gospel of liberty, freedom and patriotism bestowed unto their nation via God and gun.

A walking caricature of the values espoused by those who align themselves with political movements like the Tea Party, if you will.

By virtue of social media, internet and television, the world has the increased opportunity to observe Ugly Americans in captivity, under a microscope. One such opportunity arose tonight, when pasty CNN Television host (and UK citizen) Piers Morgan televised a “debate” with the forgettably named media mouthpiece, Alex Jones. Jones, who clearly spends his free time rolling in bat shit, has launched a petition to deport Morgan from the United States.

Why?

“British Citizen and CNN television host Piers Morgan is engaged in a hostile attack against the U.S. Constitution by targeting the Second Amendment. We demand that Mr. Morgan be deported immediately for his effort to undermine the Bill of Rights and for exploiting his position as a national network television host to stage attacks against the rights of American citizens.”

This petition then culminates in over 100, 000 online signatures, and sets the stage for Jones to detonate his home-grown kook bomb of crazy on CNN for all the world to gawk at.

Debate infers that the transaction between Morgan and Jones was an exchange of differing ideas, presented to articulate well-thought  talking-points. In this instance,  debate was a gross misnomer. Jones, frothing at the mouth, set off on an immediate spirit-quest to fling himself into a verbal black hole of tangental ranting about Second Amendment rights, gun control, patriotism and Xenophobia. Rigged to ensure that Jones let the leviathan of whackadoodle out, Piers Morgan may as well have donned a temporary halo and gilded wings.

Grab a bowl of popcorn, pull up a chair and see for yourself:

For those listening at home, and want to reflect on some of the finer passages from the Gospel of Alex Jones, I present the following points and quotes:

  • On gun control: “The tyrants did it! Hitler took the guns! Stalin took the guns! Mao took the guns! Fidel Castro took the guns! Hugo Chavez took the guns!” Ah. Invoking Hitler. Original.
  • A real highlight, for me, was this screaming gem: “I’m here to tell you — 1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms!” 
  • On the recent rape and murder of the young, female Indian student on a transit bus: “Take the woman in India in your piece earlier on CNN. I was watching during Anderson Cooper’s show… didn’t tell you the women of India have signed giant petitions to get firearms because the police can’t and won’t protect them.” Proceeds to claim that if the folks on a bus had their guns handy, the situation wouldn’t have occurred.
  • Accuses Piers Morgan of being a “hatchet man of the New World Order”
  • Trots out the stand-by rhetoric of the USA being the ONLY free country in the world, thanks to guns. Well, fine. The US AND Switzerland. But ! Everyone else is living under tyrannical government oppression, thanks to draconian gun legislation. Proceeds to scream loudly about the current urgent state of affairs in the deadly, backwoods of the United Kingdom.  “I already said earlier that England had lower gun crime rate because you took all the guns. But you have hoards of people burning down cities and beating old women’s brains out out everyday. They arrest people in England if they defend themselves, that’s on record. My God, you have a total police state. Everybody is fleeing the country because — you’ve had to flee, bud. Yeah, you fled here. Why don’t you go back and face the charges for the hacking scandal?”
  • This was extra special, and not at all tangental and bizarre: “How many chimpanzees can dance on the head of a pin?” Indeed, Mr. Jones. Indeed.
  • Are you ready to rumble, Piers? Dude wants a boxing match with you. Please let it be bare knuckle. Please. “I’ll wear red, white and blue and you can wear your Jolly Roger.”

What saddens me is not that Alex Jones exists, has an opinion, and is given a gleaming soap box of radio/television/film to exercise his right to free speech.

Nor is it that both he and Morgan are capitalizing on the unwillingness of the great unwashed masses to think for themselves, and question what they are being fed by the media.

The deep, dark, depressing void that exchanges like this create become apparent when I circle back and read the commentary of the listeners/readers, and see that when Jones hawks his purple fear-monger flavoured Kool-Aid, people are lined up to drink it.  His supporters are legion. He is bidding them to suckle on his crusty, hairy moob of hate and hostility. They eagerly lap it up, and praise the quality and wisdom that dribbles from it.

@PacersTv  – “Piers Morgan has no right to offer opinion on American rights/laws/way of life He is English NOT American. He should not be there when it comes to this sort of topic.”

@iluvpurp354  – “How people defending this foreignor clown over a passionate american blows my mind….AJ will hand ANYBODY in the lamestream media there ass!!!”

@irkitters  – “Alex kicked Prissy Piers’s ads If it was a boxing matchAlex would have made a mess of Piers. Deport Piers”

@Adam Phosphor  “If there ever was an OWNED video, ever, this was it. People commenting, trying to call him a lunatic are all the same cointel group, because they’re using the same terminology “a step backward” to downplay the facts Alex made without analyzing them. Alex just made a deathblow to the NWO. It isn’t lunacy, it’s anger. They always try to associate feelings with something requiring medication, but the truth is, when anger comes out, so does the truth.”

@lsk464 “My take is that Piers Morgan is an asshole on many fronts not just this one. I say give’em hell Alex. You did us Americans just right. Piers was trying to twist the statistics as CNN would have him do but Alex set them straight. We have a tyranny out here right now and a 2nd amendment to allow us to take America back. It is the Legal DRUGS that is the bigger problem.”

Jones is not simply a solitary jack-ass braying into the night. He represents a vocal and growing segment of the American population, namely the keyboard happy masses who are giddily allowing the Court Jester an opportunity to sit on the throne. Excuse me while I try to find a way to get off this planet.

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Tia is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma and covered in a crunchy candy coating of genuine British Columbian snark. She is currently exiled to Winnipeg for an unknown duration of time.

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