Category Archives: Family

Slut Shaming, And Other Idiocy

Amber Michelin-Jones and Rebecca Lynn Kelly
Amber Michelin-Jones, left, and Rebecca Lynn Kelly were dressed in tops that Menihek High School deemed inappropriate for class. Thirty students were sent home. (Chris Ensing/CBC)

Welcome to the cusp of spring-summer.

Now that the weather is turning, the slut shaming and attacks on women’s clothing choices will ramp up.

In Labrador, 28 girls were sent home from school because their clothing contravened the dress code. They also sent home two boys whose shirts bared their shoulders. 47% of those voting on the CBC story’s webpoll supported the school’s decision.

But Memorial University professor Patricia Dold share some inconvenient truth about this:

Male students and teachers they apparently were distracting should be the ones under the microscope. … Dold said that the school should have an open conversation with students about the issue.

via Bra-strap furor at Labrador school made teen girls ‘scapegoats’ – Newfoundland & Labrador – CBC News.

An open conversation would be welcome, but in our society, we don’t have those open conversations. Instead…

Instead, we have slut shaming. “Society,” men and women alike, criticize women who dress like “sluts” [however people define that] and suggest that those who dress like this woman [above] are just asking to be raped. What happens to the slut shamers who disrespect women who dress like this, when this woman was raped while actually wearing sweat pants and a hoodie?

That kind of disconnect is inefficient to the slut shaming agenda. so they ignore it. It’s the substance of ignorance.

So beyond teens dressing for summer then getting punished for lude boys being distracted by them, and women being raped when they’re NOT actually weary the “slutty” clothes, women who do well in high school often don’t make as much money as white men who do worse in school.

chart

And what do our politicians do about any of this?

About as much as all the high schools that are not having open dialogues about dress codes, gender respect and slut shaming.

Indeed, our equality-champion prime minister and his crew just sits around; here’s all they are able to vomit out:

Citing the facts that aboriginal women are four times more likely to be murdered than white women, and that nearly one quarter of aboriginal women are victims of domestic abuse, the department has begun to explore new policy options: options as diverse as sighing, shaking their heads, and muttering “it’s a damn shame”.

“Is there some sort of historical context to all this?” said Prime Minister Harper. “Because it almost seems as though the conditions for this crisis might have been brought about by institutional racism.”

“Surely not, though?” Harper added.

via Feds wish someone, anyone would do something about missing aboriginal women – The Beaverton – North America’s Trusted Source of News.

It would be really great if an actual leader, any leader, would step up and convene these conversations.

And short of that [I’m not holding my breath], it’s up to us, “society,” to start walking the talk of building a less idiotic, offensive and dangerous world.

 

Poor Kids, Poor Families and Shame

“When Centennial’s students found out Seymour couldn’t hold a pyjama day because many students didn’t have pyjamas, they fundraised to buy every Seymour student a pair last Christmas.”

When the Field Trip’s Too Pricey, Students ‘Self-Exclude’

BC’s disgusting and preventable child poverty crisis. Let’s stop coddling the rich!

When parents receive letters from their kids’ school asking for donations for playground upgrades or library books or technological devices, a certain segment of the population sighs, grows a few more grey hairs and dies a little bit inside.

Parents who are struggling financially cannot afford the luxury of even a tax-deductible donation to the school their children attend.

Sometimes, parents are confused. Don’t we pay taxes? Aren’t taxes structured in such a way that those who are more well-off shoulder a bit more of a burden for social services than the poor and struggling? That’s called a progressive tax system, but it is hated in our neoliberal era of tax cuts, austerity, privatization and social service cuts. The BC Liberal Party hates the poor and has been bashing them for most of this century.

But these are often just abstract policy debates. The reality is that there are real families, tens of thousands of them in BC, and real children who suffer and are often ashamed, too ashamed to trot out their poverty at school.

Who teaches them to be ashamed?

Continue reading Poor Kids, Poor Families and Shame

Yes, Your Parents’ Standard of Living Was Better

ugh.
Ugh. We’re so much poorer than our parents!

Yes, your parents’ standard of living was better, so what are you going to do about it?

When I was growing up in the 1970s, most [maybe 80%?] of my friends had a mom who stayed home and didn’t work.

Over the last 40 years the proportion of single income households seems to have flipped so that it seems to be only about 20%.

So what’s wrong with this graph over there?

There’s a huge increase in the number of families with more than one income source in the last 40 years, but median family income has gone up less than 10%. [Median just means that 50% of the population makes more than that around and 50% makes less.]

If this freaks you out as much as it freaks me out, think about the implications:

Continue reading Yes, Your Parents’ Standard of Living Was Better

Don’t Tolerate Ignorance About the Minimum Wage

Now, stop tolerating ignorance! And smile, TGIF.

Hello.

It’s Friday.

For many people it’s TGIF. But for many people who aren’t even teenagers, the work week isn’t ending today.

We often THINK minimum wage is for the new entries to the job market. Maybe it was one day. Maybe just for one day.

But today? If it isn’t a living wage, it’s exploitative.

And if it is just minimum wage, we are likely not too accurate on who is suffering with these low wages.

Let’s take a peek:

Continue reading Don’t Tolerate Ignorance About the Minimum Wage

The Future of Feminism Is Now

The children: being the future.

There seems to be a bit of an epidemic of young women and men rejecting the necessity of exploring or embracing feminism.

Maybe it’s like similarly misguided ideas like how we don’t need unions anymore.

But when you encounter young people who get it, really really get it, it gives you hope for the future.

Meet Jules Spector:

Continue reading The Future of Feminism Is Now

Remembering Eric Buckley

Buckley, EricMy uncle died Friday. His more formal obituaries are here and here. But here are some of my less formal memories, some of which, happily, showed up in the official ones. 🙂

My family spent many vacations with his family at their home in the 1970s. Many of my memories of the 1970s came from these extended family gatherings and Eric’s hobbies. Experiences build memories and shape characters and how we understand other people.

I’m lucky to have many fond memories:

Continue reading Remembering Eric Buckley

Curing Gender Imbalance in Media? MONEY!

Chart of top 50 box office hits according to whether passed Bechel Test
Movies that pass the Bechdel Test…make…more…money.

The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees.

Media corporations love their money.

And in a sexist society, common sense indicates that movies with lots of testosterone and no whiny women should make more money.

That may have been true at some point, but as of last year, not so much.

Here’s why we know this:

Continue reading Curing Gender Imbalance in Media? MONEY!

Fried Squirrels

It’s a crisp, foggy November Saturday morning in the south side of the city. Seventeen people sit in the large open area at the back end of an organic fair trade coffee shop run by a workers’ co-op inspired by the Mondragon movement in Spain. Meet-ups like this are quite common in this shop.

The male and female co-facilitators move briskly through the agenda with the help of the nodding volunteer maintaining the speakers list. There are sporadic jazz-hand gestures, common from the Occupy Movement, as well as a strict yet comfortable group norm of only one person speaking at a time, and succinctly, because of the elaborately carved talking stick that moves around the room.

Continue reading Fried Squirrels

How Does Violence at Home Affect Workplaces in Canada?

The WorkSafeBC domestic violence in the workplace toolkit includes animations depicting employer and employee responsibilities.
Worksafe BC at least isn’t keeping itself in the dark

Here is yet another stigma-laden, denial-inducing taboo topic in society and workplaces: domestic violence.

And when we connect violence at home to effects on people as workers in the workplace, we get lots of crickets. Continue reading How Does Violence at Home Affect Workplaces in Canada?